August, 2024

 The start of August found us at Legoland with our son's bestie and family. This was our first time at the waterpark and we loved it- especially the lazy river!

The next day, our Big Man turned 6! We celebrated with his bestie's family at Chuck-e-cheese and then at our community event, Hot August Nights. It was a good day. I am planning his big birthday bash for September, so that everyone in his class can be invited.

Today we celebrate Charles Augustus on his 6th birthday—our little miracle and rainbow baby, who we prayed endlessly for. He’s not just a source of endless joy and light in our lives, but also a remarkably good boy with a cautious nature and sweet sense of humor. Once, Grandpa/Glen visited and handed him a piece of chocolate. Instead of diving in right away, he came to find me to ask for permission first. His thoughtful approach and playful spirit make every day special. We’re so grateful for him and all the happiness he brings to our family. Happy birthday, Big Man!

This month, we dove head first into the new school year and sports! The kids are in kindergarten and 4th grade. He is returning to flag football. She is trying softball and on a swim team, with practice up to 4 times per week, but our aim is to make it to three per week.

Aut had a sleepover for her friend's 10th birthday and had a ton of fun teepeeing!

Cha decided to go by his middle name, August, with the start of kindergarten. He mentioned this in the spring of last year, but I wanted to make sure he really wanted to make the switch and would not change his mind the following week. Not to say he can't switch back at some point, but if he's making the change, it should be for the school year. Especially since his pottery barn backpack was customized!

The kids are very fortunate to have their closest friends in their class and loving the start of the new school year! I am, as well. As much as I love summer and our travels, it is always good to get back into a routine. 

A Decade Since Mom's Death

It’s been 10 years since I lost my best friend. A decade. In those early days, weeks, months, and years, it felt like it would never get easier. When I'm really missing her, I feel like it hasn’t. But there is one measure that shows me time has healed, if only a little bit: I miss Dad more.

Orange County Register, 2007

I had no idea when I wrote this blog post on the anniversary of her death last year that it would be my last anniversary of her death while Dad was still alive.

I thought that when I lost my father, it wouldn’t be as difficult. I thought that I would have a level of immunity built up due to the fact that I had already lost Mom. But I know that’s not true because now I miss him more. This fact shows me that time has eased the pain of her loss, as it will do, in time, with the pain of his loss. 

I often imagine what my life would be like with her in it. What the children’s lives would be like with her in it. How greatly their day-to-day living would be enhanced. I've imagined this so much that I can picture her mother-in-law cottage in our backyard with pink roses out front. Life would be perfect if I had her, or so I think. But if I had her now, I would still have the loss of her on the horizon. And no matter how much time we have, we always want more, don't we? 

Rather than lamenting her loss, I have to focus on what I am grateful for and how fortunate I am. For I know some people who did not have this amount of time with their mothers. Or he didn’t have a mother at all. Or worse yet, had an abusive, uncaring, or addicted Mom. I have to focus on the fact that before God called her home, He made sure that I had a new best friend on the way; I was six weeks pregnant with Autumn when she died. 

It's okay to allow ourselves to feel down for a bit, but we must remember that even in the worst situation, there is always something to be thankful for. I am thankful that she was, and is, my Mom. Of all the Moms in the world, I chose the very best.