April and May, 2024

Puppies, puppies, and more puppies! Around the middle of the month, these 14 (!!!) little creatures became mobile and started eating some moist puppy food. We transferred both litters downstairs and loved on them each and every day. It has been so amazing to see them go from helpless, fat potatoes to clumsily play-fighting each other. With so much work to do, we had to forego our trip to Ireland. This was tough for me because I was looking forward to connecting with some of my family over there. And with Dad gone and our family dwindling, connections with family that we have left are more important than ever. I wanted the kids to see their cousins. I could have easily justified it as "something Dad would want" and gone anyway. If you don't already know, I can find a way to justify just about anything that I want; it's pretty much a superpower of mine. But I was needed at home, and Ireland (and my family) will be there next year.

Cha continued to love t-ball with Coach Daddy. For the last few games he was hitting slow-pitch balls.

Very proud of our girl who placed on a swim team at the local high school near our house. There's a wait-list, but she's now officially on it.

Because we stuck around for Spring Break, we worked in a full day at Disneyland, followed by a full day at Legoland. We also spent a day at Legoland with Uncle Glen, who now has an annual pass. He even treated them to some souvenirs.

Although spring is a busy time, we worked in a few date nights. As April came to a close, we celebrated my birthday and prepared for our girl's first Holy Communion.

Dad has always loved cats.

I was going through some things at my Dad's home where my brother now lives, alone, and I found an incredible picture of him with cats that I had never seen before. He loved his cats and spoke often of them on his weekly skype calls to England, and so it is amazing to find evidence of his life-long love.

Our girl's First Holy Communion went off without a hitch!

We were going to have a reception at our home, but with 14 puppies, we hosted at Polly's Pies instead!

Just as things were gearing up to be beyond busy, I was placed on paid administrative leave for an unknown reason for an unknown amount of time. This was a trying time, with a lot of anxiety and uncertainty. I tried my best each day to focus on the good and trust and know that I was in the right, but with so much uncertainty, some days were easier than others. As the weeks rolled by with no word, I started to wonder if there was a fictitious allegation against me. After 18 years at the same site with ONLY positive reviews, this came out of left field. It is easy for me to understand why so many "go along to get along," but when issues are important and affect the well-being of children, we must speak up. I am glad that I did. At the end of my career and the end of my life, I do not want to look back and know that I was a part of the problem or too cowardly to voice a concern that nearly all are in agreement with. Ultimately, I was returned without so much as a suggestion or modification of any behavior or actions, not even in my site file. This is evidence that I did nothing wrong. Although it didn't feel that way at the time, I am glad that I sent the email that ultimately enacted change. 

During this time off, my brother treated me to see Placebo at Pappy and Harriet's out in the desert.

If you haven't seen a show there, it is an amazing, intimate setting—just like seeing them perform in a friend's backyard. It is totally worth the drive; they sounded even better in person, and I discovered some of their new songs.

This month is always special because of our birthdays and also Mother's Day.

We did a Disney day with a friend a few days before for our girl's birthday and went on the Incredicoaster for the first time!

On the morning of her birthday, she woke up to a balloon garland on the stairs, a Victorian dollhouse, and presents before a surprise trip with three friends to Camelot for miniature golf, followed by in-n-out, ice cream, and swimming!

Welcome to the family, Honey Snow-White! 

As the month came to a close, so did their school year. Last day of pre-K, and the last day of 3rd grade!

Our girl's 9th birthday party was a success, with a lot of her girls attending. We held it at a place called Oddessy VR at the Irvine Spectrum, and I loved that we had two party hosts to lead the girls through the two hours of activities so that we could visit.

The Mysterious Man at Dad's Gravesite Service

We didn't inform anyone of Dad's funeral Mass beyond his friend, Sergeant Beverly, from his military days. The Mass was just family: the children and I, my husband and my brother, Glen. Mom had a small crowd at hers, but I wanted people there. Many people had been a part of her journey. I remember my friend, Jennifer, showing up with a lot of cleavage and saying, "Mom wouldn't expect anything less!" We had a nice tea reception afterward at our home (thanks, Margie!). I was newly pregnant, and so, along with the immeasurable sadness, there was the juxtaposition of hope and promise of new life.

But Dad's ending was more abrupt, and we thought he had more time. Heck, we even thought he might gain weight and come home. When he took a turn for the worse, it was so sudden. Although I am not generally this way, I wanted it to be more private for some reason. I did not want people to go out of a sense of obligation, and I didn't want to have to be "on" or make small talk. Also, with the passing of Mom, Dad's social circle had dwindled. He had a few life-long friends, but two of them were in other countries; El Salvador and England. The radical shift in how I approached Mom's service versus Dad's shows that not only is the process of grief different for everyone, but the process of grief can even be different for the same person, depending on the time and space in their life as well as a whole host of other factors.

So, for the gravesite service that followed at Riverside National Cemetary, I knew Beverly would be there, as well as a few friends of Glen. But that's all I was expecting. I was not expecting Richochet Rico (alias, for privacy purposes).

I was surprised to see that there were two men there about my age. I learned that they served in the military with Dad and found out that one of them actually lived really close to us, in a community just up the hill. The older I get, the less I believe in coincidences, and so we exchanged numbers, with the hope on my part of getting together and finding out more. Then suddenly, we found ourselves with 14 puppies and unable to host, followed by my husband's family scheduled to come and then my family flying from England to stay with us. This would be followed by a trip to Oregon for all of us and then our summer travels. All this while planning for her 1st Holy Communion and 9th birthday party. I began to realize that the earliest we could meet with this man and his wife would be August!

And so, I decided to ask him via text why he cared enough to show up at Dad's funeral. This is his response, which brought tears to my eyes:

Hi Megan, I guess the short answer is I realized after both my parents passed away that the people you care about aren’t going to be here forever, and when they leave us the least you can do is show up one last time and pay your respects. The longer answer is that Phil always treated me with kindness and compassion; when I was at the Aviation unit at Los Alamitos I was making my way through college, working at least one part time job and doing the weekend soldiering thing as well, so needless to say I was a little stressed. Then to top things off I got my girlfriend pregnant and became a dad well before we’d planned to. He could see and knew the pressure I was under, so would take the time to checked in with me to see how I was doing and offered words of encouragement. He’d even cover for me and get me out of busy-work duties so I could get away for a few hours and go study if I had a midterm or final coming up. Little things like that made a huge difference to me and I was always grateful for that and never forgot. Hope this helps 

What an amazing impact Dad made in this man's life through small actions. Dad likely never knew about the impact he had. Ricochet Rico's unexpected presence at my father's funeral was deeply moving and served as a poignant reminder of the impact of simple acts of kindness. Learning about the significant role my father played in Rico's life through his simple yet supportive gestures was both humbling and heartwarming. It underscored the importance of cultivating meaningful connections and leaving behind a legacy of compassion. This experience has left a lasting impression on me, highlighting the power of even the smallest gestures to touch the lives of others in profound ways.

We should all live our lives with that goal in mind: to impact someone enough that they take the time out of their busy life to show up at our funeral. We should all strive to have a Richochet Rico show up at our funeral, to have made an impact, whether we realized it at the time or not.

February AND March, 2024

Well, it finally happened. After over a decade of blogging at least once a month, I finally fell behind, and here I am, writing my February and March updates in April. I have a few valid excuses, I promise. I'm in my very last class for my doctoral program; my last class before starting my dissertation. And, of course, I was reeling from Dad's death, which was extremely rough there for a while. Yep, life happened, and boy, did it hit hard. But I'm happy to report that I am on the other side of it and no longer feeling "dicey" on a daily basis. I am attending church more regularly than ever before, which is so healing and comforting. I'm harnessing the feeling that life is too short and fleeting and using it to enhance my life rather than hinder it. Most days. I'm trying to use the realization that life is short as a catalyst for having fun, being silly, and enjoying the heck out of the kids and my hubby, rather than lamenting the fact that I am presently older than my dad was when I was in high school. 

One day as I headed out for a run, I remembered my Dad heading out for runs before work. I was reflecting on his influence in my choice to become a runner, and hoping it could have the same effect on my children. Then, I did the math, and realized that when my father was my age, I was a high school student.  When my mother was my age? I was 21 years old. Yet my children are only 5 and 8, and both of them are no longer here with us. That means that in the blink of an eye, I'll be gone, too. But it's not what happens to us that matters, it's what we do with it; how we respond. I am choosing to capitalize on this realization that life is way too short and use it to my advantage to become an even better Mom, wife, sister, counselor, and friend. I'm also using it to try and be healthier than ever before. We lost Mom far too soon, at only 63. I'm continuing with my running and lifting weights to build muscle mass. Being in shape is not just about looks (which do boost our self confidence and mood) but also about being in a good mood from the endorphins of working out as well as longevity. I want to be in shape to enhance both my quality and quantity of life. 

Without further adieu, here's what we've been up to!

Aut enrolled in a cooking enrichment after-school class one day a week. She loves it, and often comes home and teaches Cha how to cook! A disaster of a mess is usually made which is totally fine. Life is too short to worry about that.

Our beautiful girl started her headgear, which, thankfully, she only has to wear at night. Curious why kids are wearing braces in 2nd and 3rd grade, not middle school like when we were kids? I was, too! I learned that it is important to take them in before their bones fuse in adolescence because changes can be made much easier at this time. If we had waited, her pallet expander and headgear might not have done the trick, and she may have needed surgery! Her headgear was very painful at first, but she has since adjusted. It's pretty cute and pitiful when she is angry or upset and wearing it. Sweet girl.

We celebrated Valentine's Day with prime rib at orange mining company and went to February for our week off, known as ski week in our district. It was amazing to have some down time. When I'm at home on vacation, there's always something that needs to be done. But up there, it is much more relaxing. We flew and my hubby drove up with all of the dogs and their new go-kart. 

My mother-in-law bought a weeping willow, which I planted by the lake in honor of Dad. He planted one for me as a child because it was my favorite tree, but it died because it was too dry there.

Both kids finished their winter basketball, and Aut's team went to playoffs and won first place. We also worked in another Legoland trip and a few trips to Disneyland.

Aut is nearing the end of her two years of religious education classes in preparation for her first Holy Communion. Although she had her first reconciliation at the top of the Scala Sancta in Rome, she attended with her class and sweet cousin, who gave her a pair of cross earrings for the occasion.

My best friend surprised me with tickets to a murder mystery dinner show, something I have wanted to do for a while. But the real surprise was that she paid extra to make me one of the suspects! It was way more inappropriate and raunchy than we expected, and we laughed just like we were back in junior high! I love this tried-and-true friend more than she knows. She has been there for me through all of life's ups and downs, as I hope I've been there for her.

When we returned from Oregon, we started heating our pool again and enjoyed the nice weather and some new floaties purchased at the end of last season.

Cha started spring T-ball, with the best coach ever: Daddy! And I started taking my classes and jumping through a few other hoops to obtain my CCW permit

Not bad for my 1st time at the range

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We celebrated Glen's Birthday, I led a Girl Scouts meeting and then hiked behind our house the following day so the girls could earn their hiking badge, saw MJ the Musical with our friends, prepared for Easter, and if that didn't cause us to be busy enough...BOTH Golden Retrievers had a litter of puppies on 3/22 and 3/26! To top it all off, hubby flew to another state for a killer deal (31% off MSRP) on my dream car: a Wagoneer! 

Closed out the month with Easter services and an amazing dinner with our family friends, who are more like family than friends. As I sit here recapping all of this, I realize just how busy we've been, but it's so much good stuff! I remain thankful and blessed in this busy season. Spring break is approaching, and we are not able to go to Ireland as planned due to our 14 (!!!) puppies that will soon be mobile. Looking forward to some more downtime in that week and hoping to read a book, not just listen to my audiobook on the drive to and from work.