It struck me on the way home that today had been a good day. Yesterday was, too. I was looking forward to picking up my new glasses that I ordered through insurance back in May, making a protein shake, showering since I had managed to get a short run in and then walking down to Mom's. And then I thought of the day before that: our drag brunch in Hollywood and all the laughs and I started counting...and realized that for one whole week, seven consecutive days, I've had good days. We've had good days.
I told Nathan that I need to soak all of this up, because we don't know what lies ahead, but we have a fairly good idea. They've started her out on a less aggressive form of chemotherapy, and she's only had one dose. After one more treatment, she'll have a scan. And if that's not working, they will increase the dose. And then again. And that's when her quality of life can really start to be affected. But for now, for today, she's good.
In the beginning, right after the impact, I tried to have good days. And it was work, let me tell ya. But somewhere between the faking it for her sake and now, I started actually having good days. I've set the trial for my hair and make-up, started eating healthy again and am going to have a Bachelorette party after all. I realized yesterday while filling in a teacher on Mom's condition, that I was able to do so without crying, and yet I wasn't numb. It's like a fog has lifted. I've been planning fun things with Mom, realizing that it doesn't have to cost money. She seemed to have just as much fun watching Trevi run around like she was on crack at dog beach as she did having high tea on the Queen Mary.
I know more of those other days are ahead, but today is a good day, and I'm going to go with it. Cancer has taken so very much from my family and countless others, but it's not going to take away today. And if that fog should start to creep back in, all I have to do is listen to Moby's new song. Had to think of a tie in somehow, besides my blog title being a Moby song.
Our miracle RAINBOW BABY BOY arrived 8/2018
1st IVF = BFN
2nd IVF = Baby A, born May 2015
3rd IVF = Miscarriage at 14 weeks
4th IVF = BFN
After we paid for 5th IVF, positive pregnancy without IVF!
Because the important moments in life just don’t fit in a status update! I started this blog when I was training for my first ½ Ironman, (70.3 miles) to record what I hoped would be growth and progress but ended up being a huge learning experience. Although fitness is one of the key ingredients to a happy life, it certainly isn't the only ingredient. My blog has evolved to document growth, progress and setbacks in other areas too. From my surprise proposal in Rome and wedding in the fall of 2013, to Mom's devastating stage IV cancer diagnosis and death 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant. Who knows what shape it will take, but thanks for being along for the ride.