Egg Retrieval #2

My egg retrieval went well on Monday. I like going under anesthesia because its effortless and painless and when you wake up, its magically all over. But I guess I do get nervous about going under, and even more nervous about the results of the retrieval. I asked them to give me something in my IV to help, like they did last time. They chose versed and gave me the lowest dose. I felt the same, and so they gave me more. I still didn't really feel much different when they wheeled me into the operating room and transferred me to the table. The doctor was running late, and the last thing I remember doing was checking my watch and tapping my fingers on the stainless steel table.

I must have still been nervous, because when I saw him after I woke up in recovery, the first thing that he mentioned was how anxious I was when he came in into the room. I don't know what I said, because I don't remember even seeing him.

I was surprised to learn that he was able to retrieve 10. We knew not all of those would be mature, but were still quite pleased with the number because last time, a different doctor retrieved only 7. I went to bed that night excited and hopeful.

And then the next day, yesterday, that hope was deflated. The call came that only two were developing normally. All 8 that were mature (2 were not) fertilized, but three weren't doing anything just yet (the DNA wasn't unwinding) and 3 had two polar bodies. There's a chance that the three slow ones could catch up, but no chance that the others will develop. Then he said something pretty unnerving: "This is likely an egg issue." I don't know what that means, and have more questions than answers right now. But I am holding on to the hope that comes with knowing some women have been in a similar situation egg-wise, and are now mothers. One girl I know had 19 eggs retrieved, and only three fertilized normally. And one of those three is a beautiful 3 month old girl.

They told me that they would not check them again until it was time for transfer day, tomorrow. I keep picturing them, all snug in their little petri dish and wonder how they're doing. Will we have only one? Will there be three?

We will transfer one or two, but if there happens to be three, the extra one will be frozen.

There's so much riding on this, and not a darn thing I can control other than my outlook, what I eat, and how strict I am with my bed rest orders (very!). My instructions for tomorrow include drinking a lot of water and taking a Valium one hour before to make sure I'm relaxed during the transfer, which should take place around 1pm.