Workout:
Swim: 1200 yards, 45 min.
Run: 3 miles, 26min., 30sec.
Bike: 12 miles, 51min., 30sec.
Swimming is supposed to be what you do when your injured...you're not supposed to get injured while swimming! Getting injured from swimming is something that I never expected, and it has been more mentally defeating than anything. I took all of last week off from swimming because the week prior, after only 3 days of swimming, I could not move my arms in certain ways. For example, with my arm extended I could not raise it straight up and behind me without pain all the way down to my elbow. My left arm was worse than my right, and every morning when I woke up, they both ached.
On January 13th I went for a massage appointment at my chiropractor's office and she explained that my muscles were putting pressure on a nerve. She told me that I needed a break of at least a week and while I didn't want to take a break, I understood that to not do so could cause more of a problem.
Since then I have gotten in a few good rides: 25 miles on January 15th (immediately followed by a 5 mile run), 12 miles on January 22nd and 20 miles on January 23rd (followed by 3 mile run). I also kept up with my running, but was anxious to get back in the pool, knowing that is my weakest area of the three.
Today was my first day back in the pool since January 13th. My first thought, during my first lap, was that I won't be able to complete the swim portion of the 1/2 ironman. 'I just can't do it, it's too far and I'm not a swimmer.' My breathing was off; I swam too far without taking a breath and then spent the rest of the lap a bit breathless. But, I had resting on the wall to look forward to. Anytime I wanted, I could stop and hang out on the wall for a bit! 'In a lake, there are no walls! You're going to loose your breath and you won't be able to catch it!' my skeptical voice told me. And my mind went back to the awful experience of swimming a 1/2 mile in the Long Beach bay; how a lifeguard had to come over and let me hang out on his board to catch my breath...on three separate occasions! How I panicked, and how I thought 'It would be so easy to just slip under without anyone even noticing.' And that was just a half of a mile...this is 1.2 miles.
I had similar doubts while training for my first marathon back in 2002...but, if you can't keep going when you're running, the worst that's going to happen is that you'll fall. More likely, you'll just sit down on the curb and some nice, friendly race official will ensure that you get a cold Gatorade and comfy ride back to the finish. Sure, you won't get your medal...but, at least you won't drown! At least you won't die! It sounds a bit overly-dramatic to write this, but this is honestly what I was thinking today during my swim. 'What have you gotten yourself into? Why did you sign up for this?'
I spent the rest of my 1200 yards trying to counter my skeptical voice. Telling myself that I still have a lot of training left, and that when race day rolls around, I will be prepared. That I can slow down and breathe every three strokes, or even every two stokes if necessary. That I am an athlete, and I do have what it takes. But my doubting self was not convinced, and right now my that annoying voice remains stronger and louder. Especially because by 800 yards my shoulder started hurting again. This time, my right one. 'See! It's too much too soon! You've bitten off more than you can chew and you know it.'
Our miracle RAINBOW BABY BOY arrived 8/2018
1st IVF = BFN
2nd IVF = Baby A, born May 2015
3rd IVF = Miscarriage at 14 weeks
4th IVF = BFN
After we paid for 5th IVF, positive pregnancy without IVF!
Because the important moments in life just don’t fit in a status update! I started this blog when I was training for my first ½ Ironman, (70.3 miles) to record what I hoped would be growth and progress but ended up being a huge learning experience. Although fitness is one of the key ingredients to a happy life, it certainly isn't the only ingredient. My blog has evolved to document growth, progress and setbacks in other areas too. From my surprise proposal in Rome and wedding in the fall of 2013, to Mom's devastating stage IV cancer diagnosis and death 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant. Who knows what shape it will take, but thanks for being along for the ride.
Yes you will be, yes you are, and yes you do have what it takes. There is time and this will not be easy. You chose to do this and it seems to be in your nature to succeed. You will find a way or the way will find you. There are no other contingencies, you will do this.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the words of encouragement Jim!!!
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